My life…..

Albert Einstein once said,`if u judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid.’

I celebrated my birthday the other day ,everyone I know ( my three friends and a cat that comes to my house evernight )wished me a happy birthday.The wishes did not help that much ,I expected some chapos(my second love) and some whiskey (First love) but nuh, not even a 10 shillingi coin was handed to me.

They made me feel a little older (that feeling you get when your crush finally hugs you or gives you a peck)do you relate,yes ?I smiled  tha whole day like some guy promised to smash some mami later.

Anyway later into tha night ,I got this filling I could not shake ,I was one step to my extinction and what had I achieved ? what will this earth remember me for ,apart from ranting about how Kenyan women are a sorry lot ,peeping at my neighbours before I can run to the loo with only my boxers on, believing that spongebob will one day get married and get a retarded kid.

Repeat watching Lucifer and game of thrones for a hundredth time,listen to Ariana grande because I may or may not have a crush on her ,hate Justin bieber and trey songs for my breakup (my ex had a whole photo album of them and listen to their songs like her life depended on them) and being a man I am I don’t date girls who fantasise about Disney or watch soaps and expect me to be her  Alejandro,what the hell did she think I was, Romeo?

I evaluated my life for sometime,I needed to do something,jump off kicc, try a relationship ,(the only thing that I fear apart from my old man.)Give cloth donation to kanye West ,get tha balls to talk to my crush,anything not to go unnoticed.

But then I remembered daddy Owen sang ‘yote ni vanity,ooh ooh, vanity bila yesu ni vanity…’ I guess I need Jesus to sort me out.